Pie is cancelled

person holding knife and fork cutting slice of pie on brown wooden table
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I constantly ask around the Thanksgiving time of the year, why is the “go-to” dessert pie? Clearly I have never been a fan of pie and I am always questioning why so many people are such a big fan? It usually has fruit in the middle, which is pretty gross. Who likes warm fruit? And surrounding that warm fruit is crust. Usually that crust is unsweetened because it relies on the fruit for the sweet taste. I have a moto where the only true dessert has to have chocolate in it. Without it, it’s not dessert. Pie should never have chocolate in it. There probably are pies that contain chocolate in it but that just doesn’t sound right. Apple pie has to confuse me the most: the center is warm apple that is cooked to the point where it loses its crisp. Apples are supposed to have a crisp but instead, the crust has the crisp to it, the unsweetened crust. Also, pumpkin pie is literally baby food. It is pureed and, again, warm. You are eating warm mush with an unsweetened crust. There is nothing truly appetizing about pie. The moral of this blog post is to warn the people who choose to cook for Thanksgiving, or the people that always bring dessert when they are invited to a Thanksgiving dinner, do yourself and your friends and family a favor, bring something covered in chocolate.

Stuff me with Stuffing

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I think the most agreed upon statement is: bread is the best food on this planet. It, like rice, is a huge staple in many of our meals. Even better, there are so many types of breads. There are the savory breads, like baguettes, ciabatta, and sourdough, there are the sweet breads, like banana bread, zucchini bread, and pumpkin bread, and so many more. One of the other amazing things about bread is the things you can do with it. You can turn stale bread into croutons, you can turn it into crumbs to bread a piece of chicken, or, my personal favorite, you can make it into Thanksgiving stuffing. Stuffing is, in my personal opinion, the best Thanksgiving food there is. It is made out of the best food in the world, bread, and is served along side the star meal of Thanksgiving, the turkey. Stuffing is used to “stuff” the Turkey and help it stay moist. The best part about stuffing is how it prevents the turkey from becoming too dry.
Stuffing is the best Thanksgiving food because of its diversity. There are so many different ways to make it, each way catering to a different person’s taste preference. For example, there are some people who, shockingly, enjoy cranberries or raisons in there turkey; these are the people who enjoy there meals to be a little more sweet. There are other recipes that call for a bunch of vegetables and for it to be more on the “vegetarian side”. There are other recipes that call for the stuffing to be baked on the side of the turkey so it won’t be as overly moist, my preferred way of enjoying it. There are so many different ways of cooking this delicious food. This is also a food that can be enjoyed by any age, children on the younger side don’t have to worry about choking and elderly people don’t need to worry about chewing without their dentures! It caters to almost everyone. You can even use gluten-free bread for those who can not eat gluten. There is no singular recipe used to make this food and, so many people get to enjoy it.
My personal favorite way to have it is to use day old white bread, so when we add the liquid it won’t get too “mushy”, add celery and onion, a ton of delicious spices, over salt it, use a way too salty chicken broth, and cook outside of the turkey. It comes out as a perfect ball of doughy, delicious, salty cooked bread, that tastes a lot better than it sounds. Stuffing is the best thanksgiving food for so many reasons. It is a staple in the traditional Thanksgiving meal and is very underrated for such a delicious food. It is, and always will be, the best food at Thanksgiving dinner. 

What The Hell do Vegans Eat for Thanksgiving?

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When one thinks of Thanksgiving, what is the first food to come to mind? It could be the pumpkin pie, covered in dairy filled whipped cream or ice cream. It could be stuffing, drenched in butter and cooked in chicken stock. It could be the mashed potatoes that are so creamy they literally feel like what one would imagine a cloud to feel like. Or, it could be the most common food, the turkey. These delicious foods have one major thing in common: not a single one is vegan. So this leaves us wondering: what the hell do vegans eat on thanksgiving? The easy answer to this question is “modified” recipes like a vegan pumpkin pie recipe that lacks any of the toppings, the best parts, or a vegan mashed potato recipe where it is literally just mashed up potatoes with some salt, or, my personal favorite, the Gilmore Girls version of a a vegan turkey called a “tofurkey”. Not a single one sounds as good as the real deal.
Imagine the one vegan of the family coming to Thanksgiving dinner, made for carnivores, and having to eat salad the entire night. That’s not fair to the vegan! This is the day where people are supposed to pig out and enjoy a variety of great, amazing foods. The turkey is supposed to be so succulent that is falls off the bone, the potatoes are supposed to be so drenched in gravy that people have to end up eating it with a spoon, the stuffing is supposed to be so fluffy that it has to be cut up into chunks so it isn’t eaten as a big ball of mashed up bread. Vegans don’t get to enjoy this day; they have to sit there and watch the carnivores enjoy the day that allow women to break their diets, the day that people with clogged arteries get to say: to hell with it! It’s the best day of the year! There is also a specific reason as to why people eat the foods they do on this day. Every family can have their modifications but they still have at least some of the original foods. Vegans don’t get to enjoy these foods; they don’t get to experience of pigging out on the best foods of the year.
The point of this blog was not to discourage vegans or to say what they do is wrong, the point of this was literally just to question what they do on this day. There is not many food options for them on this day and it is sad knowing that they don’t get to enjoy it as much as other people do. It is not fair that everything is catered to the average American meal where it is mostly meat and potatoes. Vegans have it hard on this holiday because it is one of those holidays that have a set meal that most people usually follow. They have to watch everyone enjoy the day to eat until they are sick. It is a sad day for most vegans, and what do they even get to eat?